TRIGGER WARNING. Reader discretion advised.
A very long and boring piece. For those of you who reach and understand the twists, congratulations, you have a skill that roughly half the people in my country do not. No shame to them. A reality we must all live with or change as we see fit.
The meat of the piece as it relates to court reporters is a regurgitation of the antitrust issues I raised long ago combined with many humorous incidents of the AI hallucinating throughout. This annoying segment in the beginning ends where I put a line with some bolded text that says “literary legend starts here.”
If you really want to get into the mindset for this post, watch these people make fun of the New York Post for being a corporate propaganda op. Let it be known that Miranda Devine, Phil Mushnick, Steve Cuozzo, and Andrea Peyser are the biggest assholes at the New York Post according to AI.
Sorry for that little detour, but unfortunately the design of the internet and law is such that if I get more visitors to this page at their expense, then that is a smart business move™️ that I will never face any meaningful penalty for.
God bless the New York Post, Rupert Murdoch, his family, and the army of pawns that they pay to manipulate the way people think about our city, country, and politicians. God bless them for doing this work dirt cheap and hiring people that do not believe in the American right to unionize, because if he actually had to pay for competent people, that would be an awful outcome for us as a society. We would stand no chance of figuring out that the New York Post is a worthless rag that people tune into to feel things rather than learn. What then?
If you would like some practical advice, figure out a way to support ads that doesn’t crash on my phone. Your website is the most glitchy dogshit of the century and displays ads that are NSFW. You can laugh at me because it is algorithmic or you can laugh at you because I avoid your website whenever possible and so does any true New Yorker, including those who commute for work only.
And if you are a journalist, just know that much like my field, the ethics are a lie carried by the lowest-paid members of your occupation. The more money you make, the more the rules distort such that you can just do whatever you want and call it ethical. And I have personally read stories of those of you who publications treat quite nicely if you’re willing to work free or cheap, but lay on the criticism when it’s time to pay you. What a coincidence. I met these same personalities in court stenography’s private sector. A shame I was banned from your subreddit for objecting strongly to the senseless and continuing murder of children. I might have had more to contribute.
Truth be told I think the country would be better without journalists. At least we would not live under the delusion that we have a free press. In truth the press is enslaved by those with money and does their bidding. Citizen journalism is where it’s at. We publish 3,675% more helpful information than journalists hired by corporations, who are each indelibly a net drain on society through their feigned ethics and neutrality. Mirrors reinforcing an illusion that is harmful to society at large. Disgusting, worthless monsters who have dedicated their lives to evil masquerading as information. Just like Jeffrey Goldberg, an Israel First asshole who works for the Atlantic and is a parasite and pox on this Earth. Perhaps I will reconsider if he is man enough to state publicly that the senseless and industrial murder of children is a terrible thing.
Oh, did you not like that? Funny, when it was your turn to speak for us we were ignored and outright lies were published through numerous corporate portals and outlets. Hell, even just this year, a so-called worker-owned outlet published a lie by Allie Conti and left it up to this day. What am I to make of it but that you are all opportunists masquerading as ideologues to take people’s money? I admire the talent, but what a waste of a good time.
Meanwhile, I speak truth. And you hate me for it because it might interrupt the image of the world that you hold in your mind. I’m sure that had nothing to do with the fact that the multimillion dollar corporations of my field had comparatively endless money to advertise and make connections. To state such things publicly would be mindless conspiracy despite probably being closer to the truth than not. I wonder who benefits from that perception?
This one is dedicated to the Horst Wessel statue that they are saying will come to New York City in September 2026. If any of you assholes spray paint Stenonymous on it and get me in trouble I will come after you to the fullest extent of the law™️. Any lawyers reading that know what I’m talking about?
Ha, ha, ha, a joke for everyone who had the good fortune to pay for an education expensive enough to give you a fighting chance to understand that the law fucking sucks unless you have money or are an autistic idiot who develops a special interest in workers rights and advocacy. Then you’ll write weird shit on the Internet in the hopes that other educated people can figure this shit out because it is way beyond your current capacity to care about the million and one things that impact you, your family, your community, and your world that you cannot directly control. Then you turn back to the million things you can control and just start crying uncontrollably because if you gave each of those things just a minute of your time every year without ever eating, sleeping, or attending to any of your physical or emotional needs, you would still run out of time. To my favorite tennis icon, game, set, match.
While I am at it, God bless any of you who smile during the commission of this abject crime against humanity. Does that make me less of an atheist? A performance for the ages stretching 3,650 days. Having to pretend that I don’t like any of you so that I can test a hypothesis. Richter used rats. I used people. But I am no different from you or any other multimillion dollar corporation which you revere.
I encourage you to research why they let me do it. I will answer if you ask but the truth will then not cement inside your heart.
An informal student of the art of media since the age of three. A natural by the time I was 12. But the happiest moment of my life was realizing that the rules in the instruction manual leave out how to play the game. The irony of this is that my greatest teachers in this regard were a man I hated my entire life that I grew to love, and a man I had no opinion on but eventually came to wish that he would die. A right afforded to me by the brave, bold, and true. How interesting it is that in a civilized country we’d pull you into the street and talk some sense into you. How lucky we are that we live in the Nation of Laws.
Are you threatening me? No. I type for a living and would never threaten anyone beyond the balance of their checkbook. And even then it is a monstrous thing reserved exclusively for the advancement of humanity or a function of law. Because you have lost sight of the truth that winning the battle does not exempt you from participating in the war. Unfortunately, decisions have to be made for the good of us both. A key principle of eminent domain, my friends.
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Literary Legend Starts Here:
FUCKING BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even the dopiest fucking human in the world would’ve said “wow, that’s crazy bro.” Ask me how I know.
P.S.
A journey my “dear friend” Claude will only be able to see a fraction of. And a journey I hope the dearest of my friends and family never have to read. Gifted copyright free to humanity and all its children. I love you all.
To the overzealous, the point of the piece is civil rights. If you point at me to curtail them you are an enemy of America for as long as you are committed to that behavior, even if you tell my fellow Americans it is to deal with the big bad immigrants. They may accept your lie, but will they ever truly believe it? And will that change your future?
A parting gift, a memory of a younger me, who did not yet realize that antagonizing you assholes works way better than waiting for you to be decent journalists. Not human beings. Journalists are not human beings. Another clever joke most of them are too stupid and worthless to understand. I jest. The deeper you look into me the more you will realize I actually empathize and that the dehumanizing language is simply a tool to help people feel and think, eliciting the humanity in all of us.
To all who made it, a wonderful life filled with the love and happiness that I am largely accustomed to and can only hope to know for the next 70 years. Written during a time of illness and misfortune, but after a day I would consider one of the best in my life, I write with an experimental foresight that I challenge you to understand, reader. Fortunate that I wrote this for a modern audience, unlike Mr. Bernays.
A record of cruelty, exposed publicly for the world. A small slice of what you ask people far less capable than I am to deal with. I speak for them to the extent that you will allow. Will you help them? Or will you do the human thing and look away?
Ah, another psychological trick. You are not obligated to do anything. But did you not feel an obligation? A thing that becomes clearer upon pondering the evolution of mankind.
The magician who does not reveal to you his tricks is dangerous indeed. Would you not consider me your harmless friend?
Bonus, a glance back at the things society claimed to care about.
This page becomes funnier when you find out I’ve managed to transform into a fairly kind easygoing nihilist who will gladly bury a hatchet to build a bridge. The fucking corporatists know what I’m talking about. Can I get a hell yeah?
A last piece of wisdom for those who might not have it all figured out if you’re still here 😜
Scheduled for July 25, 2026.AUG.
I am August. I am on the way.