George Santos, nobel-prize winning congressperson who surpassed Elon Musk as the richest person in the world last Tuesday, has teamed up with Veritext to promote digital reporting. “The cure for cancer will come from digital reporting. I bet all of Veritext’s money on it.” Mr. Santos also says that the inaudibles are a necessary part of any transcript because most people don’t know what anyone is saying half the time anyway.
The Veritext CEO spoke to the Congressman about the shortage in the industry. Representative Santos replied, “don’t worry, people won’t look into it. Look at my resume.” While he advocates for digital reporting, he says “I understand the importance of digital and I can speak to it because I’m also a stenographer who’s won the National Court Reporters Association award for Fastest Fingers seven times in a row.”
Santos was later declared the new NCRA Spokesperson, and attended a masonic order dinner, trying to build a bridge between NCRA and the Illuminati.
*None of this is true. It is a satire on the lies occurring in the court reporting industry, political lies, and poking a bit of fun at how people often use or misuse NCRA’s name and cred for their own agenda. It also satirizes modern journalism. It makes fun of me too, but that’s much more subtle.
In other news, Staten Island man dressed in a peanut butter-covered raincoat was arrested. Reportedly stated to arresting officers: “I was just celebrating court reporting and captioning week!”
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND!