Walden 2023 Parody Commentary *SPOILERS*

For this writing exercise, I wrote this while I was watching the movie with the intention of publishing it for you all as a sort of parody commentary. It’s going to make me very upset if this gets me more donations than my activism / citizen journalism stuff. Guess we’ll find out. For the record: I really liked it. I think Emile Hirsch gave it life and played his part really well. But the movie is also kind of all over the place and some viewers are going to find that jarring and “nope out.”

Definitely try this writing exercise with your families with whatever movies you want. It was fun for us.

Just to make this incredibly clear, this is “no holds barred” spoilers. If you are the type of person that doesn’t want spoilers, STOP NOW.

NOTES MADE WHILE WATCHING:

The beginning was humorous. He comes off super socially awkward or nerdy, which I totally relate to.

Mark Kislingbury was mentioned. You could tell they did some research on our field.

They showed this school scene that was really good at explaining why we’re all insane.

Don’t object during closing, Lloyd, it’s rude.

The court scene in the beginning was super dramatic and over the top. Walden does this side eye thing that I’m pretty sure I do too.

Scene where he’s cleaning the steno machine. I let mine collect grime. I know I’m in the minority.

The religious scene was a little bit thought provoking and a fair representation of the thoughtfulness and kindheartedness of the religious among us.

When Walden tells the doctor “in laymen’s terms I’m a court reporter,” I exploded.

The pacing is a little choppy after that. Something about a birthday and someone snatched the boy.

(NOTE: Little did he know, he was missing a major plot point.)

When Walden faints and finds out he has a meningioma and he’s explaining why he knows the term, it’s classic us. Did they design this movie for us?

His desire to do the steno contest over attending to his brain tumor is a little on the nose mocking us. But I’ll accept it for a little steno media.

When he got in the elevator with the ex-New York City stenographer Francesca asked, “is he gonna get laid because he’s a stenographer?”

The whole thing about feeling the words and not just typing them is a made up thing. But his inability to understand she was flirting with him was great acting.

I have to say it’s taking a while to get to the point. Something about church. I don’t really get it. But next thing he’s at a bar. He doesn’t drink but then he orders a whiskey. Somebody lyin’.

Next thing we know Walden’s in a store that’s getting robbed and he bottles the dude.

The childhood scenes were pretty deep. Really draws you in and gives you a peek at why the character is the way he is. And I suspect there’s some real-life truth to the attachment some can have to the machine. I’ve heard directly from other reporters how trauma has impacted people’s view of steno. It’s interesting. I wish we could get some kind of case study going.

When they let the bad guy go free on “a technicality,” I got a laugh at how cliche it was.

This idea that a drunk stenographer can burn someone in an oven is an idea that was worth being on film.

At this point we are asking: What state is this? This accent is crazy, I can’t place it.

I love that the police are showing crime scene evidence to an off-duty stenographer. I’ve received crime scene photos by accident before, but only because my name was one letter off from the ADA.

We’re looking at each other like how small is this town? The entire cast is in this church right now.

Francesca guesses the plot of the movie at 39 minutes in: “He’s actually in a coma and none of this is real, or it’s a psychotic episode based on the brain tumor, or he’s dead.”

(NOTE: She did not, in fact, guess the plot of the movie at 39 minutes in.)

The church scene is really over the top.

Why is this small town courtroom so busy?

Francesca says it’s the creepy stenographer lady. Is she wearing shoulder pads?

It’s official, Walden is more oblivious to flirting than me, and I’m impaired in that regard thanks to genetics.

Is this movie supposed to take place in the 80s? Don’t think we’ve seen a cellphone.

Do fancy people talk this way? Don’t they keep the gossip behind people’s backs?

The guy sleeping on the chair in the red and orange seems out of place. Is this a date? We’re confused now. One’s in a Hawaiian shirt and the other is in a Tuxedo.

FRANCESCA: If Dexter was a stenographer, but only the last season of Dexter.

This lady’s not creepy. I’m retracting that on my Fiancée’s behalf.

The Men of Court Reporting really do got it like that.

I still don’t understand who the disabled guy is. Guess it’s good to have some media with that kind of a character? It’s an interesting choice. I like it.

We love how the people from church are in the courtroom.

Do we really need to give stenographers guns? Is that the image we want the public to see? I’m just kidding. The best was “who the fuck are you?” “The stenographer.” Hirsch does an amazing job of making Walden Dean this really funny brand of scary-weird. Maybe they read Stenonymous?

This whole relationship thing is weird.

Ah. They used the disabled guy as a prop in this really uncomfortable arrest scene. That’s a good descriptor for the movie. Uncomfortable, funny, scary, weird.

We finally saw a phone.

Another prayer scene with Walden Dean. His descent is crazy.

So much crime in this 30-person town where the stenographer is immediately informed of every single crime that happens. Walden Dean’s spy network is probably better than mine.

Disabled guy’s name is George.

Why is he drinking so much? This has got to be a dream sequence.

His girlfriend’s back. She probably has a name too. Did I miss it? Does he even know it? Francesca had to look it up on IMDB.

Bro she’s reading his trauma typing. This is heartbreaking. This whole bit about him being a ghost is interesting. I can’t really tell what this movie wants to be, but it’s definitely art.

The cop scene about not letting the sadness into the home is really good to see put into media. In my mind it relates to the vicarious trauma people in many jobs can experience.

(NOTE: Do not take that shit home with you. It is deleterious to your health. We are recognizing this more in the field every day.)

“EXCUSE ME. Did these women consent to this?” Absolutely perfect delivery.

Not sure how I feel about Walden gunning down those guys. They stab him so I guess it makes sense. But also there’s the imagery of a white government worker gunning down…yeah. Maybe this movie is a psyop to trigger the woke and get publicity? Kidding.

(NOTE: That would explain the decision to cast Hirsch.)

Them taking George to the bad man’s house and cuffing him to the door is kind of hilarious. The creepy vibe is really well done though.

Skeleton classroom scene gave me the creeps. Good execution.

That relationship he has with the judge is cool but it’s a little too intimate.

??? Why’s he pointing a gun at him? Is he the bad man? This totally eluded me. Wow. And the judge has some kind of mental abnormality for sure. The discomfort of this whole scene is pretty off the charts. Has anyone seen something like this?

And then the judge pulls the stenographer’s secret weakness, telling him he’s the best. Did he kill him? We don’t know.

…oh. He’s dead.

Do they all have assigned seats in church?

And then we’re going to end on a cliffhanger where Walden can apparently keep on killing after the detective figured out it was him. Maybe the whole thing is making fun of American justice and how small towns can just kind of disappear people.

…that was an experience.

W e l c o m e W-BG

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t h e TOT

e n d EPBD

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m y PHAOEU

b l o g PWHROG

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